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I am a “tom-boy” or something along those lines. I’m not exactly sure how to define myself, but I’ve been told that I’m a “tom-boy” for as long as I can remember. I mean growing up I was always ‘Sporty Spice’ when playing Spice Girls with my friends so…. maybe there is some truth to that.
Right after my husband and I got married, we were blessed with twin boys. “They are all boy” – is a frequent phrase we hear. I loved being a boy mom, and when I found out that I was pregnant again I swore up and down I was having another boy. I made bets with friends, and I even had vivid dreams about another messy, muddy, and high energy boy running around with the twins.
But God.
Don’t you love when He throws you a curve ball? I was floored when the ultra sound clearly showed a little girl. What the heck was I going to do with a girl??
When I would share my concern about not being about to relate with my daughter I was met with…
“She’ll probably be just like you.”
“She’ll have two older brothers, she’ll be a tom-boy for sure.”
“You can train the girly-ness out of her”
“Just raise her to be a tom-boy early, and it’ll be fine.”
Ah…no, no, no, and nope. Guys – I packed only yellow and blue onesies to the hospital when I had her. It was ‘game on’ for me from the start.
Then somewhere around 18 months old my daughter’s personality exploded onto the scene. This once docile and even tempered baby girl now had hard opinions on everything. The most shocking was her absolute love for pink, big princess dresses, curling her hair, and everything else you can image that I feared.
To be fully honest- I felt like we weren’t connecting anymore. That sounds awful and horrible, and I absolutely hate myself for saying that something like preferences made me feel disconnected to my baby, but it’s true.
But God. God knew exactly what He was doing when He gave me this little girl.
What better motivation to burn away selfishness than your own children! I love this little girl to death, and it was incredibly selfish of me to need my daughter to be like me so I can better connect with her. God has plans for her that go above and beyond my stupid preferences. My job as a mother is not to mold her into what is easiest for me to relate to, but point her constantly to Christ and love her like He loves me.
I learned so much more from a connection that I had to constantly work at than one that comes easily. I have quit hoping/praying she’ll grow out of it, and I have quit trying to discourage the things she loves. When she puts on her pink fluffy dress, spins in a circle, and declares she is a beautiful princess, it makes me smile.
If she ‘grows out of it’ or not, I really don’t care. At the age of two, God used her to teach me so many lessons that I wish that I had learned earlier in life. I can’t wait to see what else He has in store for us.